ugh been awhile, well i'm about 21 weeks along just plugging away, we know now that it's a girl yay!! super happy about that, already went through all the old clothes, I tried  to sell quite a few but still have about 3 bins left to donate, I wish I could find someone who needs them, but no such luck :( anyway heartburn and indigestion have been my good friends and now that I finally have a baby belly it's getting hard to sleep at night... ugh..... did some maternity shopping so I'm in the clear there, got pretty much everything we will need besides diapers and all that jazz for when the baby comes, got the dresser upstairs, gotta get the swing in there, Niko's room is all set up and he's been doing awesome about sleeping in there, he still comes in with me in the middle of the night but we'll hopefully get there... Meeka on the other hand who knows with her, hopefully once my mom gets here she'll sleep in her own room with her, since they will be sharing a room in there.. My mom bought her ticket and she'll be staying for about a month.... so hopefully helping out with the kids and this time around we won't have anything bad happen afterwards.. both my pregnancies haven't been a walk in the park afterwards, so let's hoping that the third time is the charm! :) ugh kids are crying and I need a shower.. story of my life. thats it for now.

well I don't want to jinx anything but I think I am finally over the whole nauseous  thing and bloated belly when I drink/eat, so I'm hoping that this continues and I can get back to eating normal again! or at least until my 3rd trimester when I have to start eating little portions because I can't digest it. One other symptom that I now have that I hate is being constipated... oh my gosh it is horrible I take a pro-biotic and it's not hardly helping.. ugh... that's all I can say, and now I've gotten a few headaches at night and i hope that doesn't stay too long.. but I feel so much better! it's hard to believe. This Friday we get to hear the heart-beat and I'm pretty excited. Last weekend Nixon's dad came up for the weekend we saw him for 1 day pretty typical. I just felt though that he just wanted Nixon to fix his phone and do all his electronic stuff for him.. feeling a little used.. He did take the kids to Nickelodeon universe and then took us all out to Rainforest cafe. That's what the kids picked :) It's their favorite so we were off to eat there,Then Sat he dropped by briefly took Meeka with him to some family picnic (didn't invite us) and then later dropped her back off. Sunday we were off to my dad's for some dinner and to hang out. We ended up telling both our parents that I was pregnant neither of them really were excited about it, my dad especially. I swear sometimes he can really upset me, I just have to contain myself though . Once again he complained a lot while we were there, saying he is going to sell the house, that he can't afford it.. yada yada yada. then he said while we were there, that he's probably missing the best kite boarding day of the year.. o.k. thanks you make us feel really welcome. Seriously my dad can be such a jerk sometimes, I don't even think he realizes it, he's just so self consumed.  anyway that's about it i haven't written in awhile and that's kinda catching up. I'm just glad that I'm not sick all the time all day long anymore. So I have more energy to play with the kids, pick up, and cook :) Hopefully Friday everything goes well and Peanut is a healthy baby!! We will most likely announce everything after the heart beat :)

well we are finally re-cooperating over here and everyone is healthy. I tell you that virus seriously gave me a scare and it was exhausting on all accounts. Niko had it first for 10 with a fever, we ended up at the pediatrician 2x and nothing they could do, shortly after Meeka caught it. Meeka it scared me something fierce, her fever would get up to 105, with Niko it never went above 102-103 tops, and I could easily get it down, her I would have to give her ibuprofen and tylenol, then one night after I had given her ibuprofen after over an hour it didn't go down and it went up to 105, needless to say we ended up in the ER, crazy, tired night, we got out around 130am. yuck! they did a urine sample, chest X-ray strep test, all that jazz and everything came back normal, we followed up with our pediatrician the next day and they did a white blood count, which came back elevated but still within the normal, DR said to watch make sure it starts trending down if not by friday to come back... well it never went down so once again on Friday here we were at the Dr.s he said she looked normal but that if it continued through the wknd they would test for limes, kowasaki, and mono. By this time I'm kinda scared and freaked out, I had contacted our relief society president to get someone to give Meeka a blessing, Brother Beecher and the missionaries came over and gave her a blessing, she was blessed to have  a full recovery, which was very comforting considering the Dr's didn't k now what was going on.. On Saturday she had no fever all day, and then on Sunday we were able to go to church, I truly believe it was a miracle, and am very thankful for the priesthood and how it blesses us in our lives. I know that Heavenly Father was looking out for Meeka and our family and he truly did bless her in her time of need.    

       Onto other news today I went and applied for WIC I got my vouchers for myself and then I have to go back on Monday and get Niko enrolled also, so far I'm just glad to get the help that I can. We need it right now and especially with baby on the way we need to start paying off our debt. I got the medical bill for Niko's visit to the Dr and it was about $250 that we would owe, we will have one of those for Meeka than plus all of her ER tests... not looking forward to that. I'm hoping that MA will kick in and help pay for it but who knows...  That's about it for now, still feeling bloated, and nausea sometimes, have cravings quite a bit, last night it was lemon. Nixon was a doll and went and got me lemon bars from the store :) so that fixed that. Well Gotta go make some dinner, spaghetti and meatballs :)

well today was my first OB appt. I had an ultra sound too, everything looked good just like it should for baby at 7 weeks :) Which is very re-assuring!! My next appt is July 11th at 3pm. Hopefully we'll be able to pick up baby's heartbeat. That will be pretty cool. Got to see the heartbeat today which is always re-assuring!  Nixon still can't believe it, I think he's pretty stunned, at the same time I think neither one of us really wanted to get our hopes up too high because of my miscarriage last april, so we both didn't want to deal with the disappointment again, but so far so good for baby!! I don't think it's really sunk in yet, and most likely won't until I start to get BIG :) I already get bloated, but that's expected, I talked with the nurse today and since I'm older than the maternal age at my 20 week appt I have to get a 4D ultra sound, which seems really cool, yet scary, because they can pick up more birth defects that way and is standard the nurse told me for ALL women over age 35.. well way to make me feel old, and then of course she brings out the statistics of all the birth defects since I'll be 38 when I deliver, in all honesty I don't really care, this is the time, and this is the baby that Heavenly Father wanted us to have, he's going to make this baby PERFECT for US!! no matter what so getting the genetic testing doesn't really change my mind about things, and definitely would not help me prepare for the baby to be born. so it is what it is, I'm going to love it unconditionally anyway!  but I'm sure that everything will be just fine! :) Deep down inside I do hope for another girl though.. I don't know if I could handle another Niko.. man he's a creature! well that's it for today. I"ve actually been getting better at writing, so hopefully my entire pregnancy won't go by and you won't hear from me :) I have my appt with WIC on the 25th for me and the 30th for Niko, so hopefully we'll be able to get some assistance there :) Keep my fingers crossed since I'm done watching Armina, hopefully we can make things and ends meet.

This week has been  a hectic one. Meeka had her Kindergarten graduation on Wednesday, it was just a short little ceremony in her class with her teacher and parents, and then fruit snacks and juice boxes afterwards. She has a great teacher, and some great people that work with her! Unfortunately Niko has been sick this whole week, it started last Tuesday with a fever, for 2 days than it went away and came back on Sunday, stayed we went in on Monday, they said just to watch it and if symptoms got worse or still had a fever to go in on Wed, well Wed came along and he started coughing hard, and still had his fever, so back we were to the Dr, another Dr checked him out, said it was still viral... ugh I seriously hate having sick kids, I feel absolutely helpless, then Wed night came a long and as I was putting Meeka to bed sure enough she felt hot, took her temp 102... ughhhhh.... So here we are 2 sick kids.  On the plus side I now know that it is viral and not pneumonia  with Niko...
     Good side of things tomorrow is my first OB appt and I couldn't be more excited, I get to have an ultra sound at 1pm and then meet with the nurse at 2pm. I can't wait to make sure everything is just going o.k. with little peanut. I've been really nervous this time around because of my previous mis-carriage.. but also so excited I want to scream to the world.. nausea has kicked in along with sleeplessness (with sick kids it hasn't helped) and the cravings..OH the cravings... today it's been hummus bread with meat and cheese and basil, along with cheesecake and then I want spinach dip with hawaiian sweet bread and a seafood salad with crackers from cub.. and I can't go anywhere because both kids have  a fever and seriously I"m just going crazy from food!!!! and it' shorrible because this time around I can only eat small amounts, usually it kicks in later on in my pregnancy that I can only eat small amounts and  being bloated, but no not this one, right off the bat.. ugh so frustrating, the only thing that helps is sparkling water.. so we have to get that and I drink about 2 a day to help with the bloating. luckily heartburn hasn't kicked in too bad yet keep my fingers crossed that it won't!!!  I love my spicy food too much!!!  I had Nixon go and get pupusas the other day, like I said the cravings are seriously in FULL SWING already and I don't foresee them going anywhere anytime soon... at least it hasn't been anything that is too bad for me :) like a pan of brownies.. I got that with Niko.. seriously so yummy! but  I still have about 32 weeks to go.. ugh just to think about it. I'm only 7 weeks along not even through with first trimester yet. I've only told my mom and Maryann. waiting to tell everyone else until I'm further along and also I really want the reassurance of the ultra sound tomorrow. I"m just so nervous. Well thats it for today I gotta cal Nixon to ensure that he stops at the grocery store for me!

ugh....well nausea has reared it's ugly head yesterday and today... well that didn't last long the kids are into trouble, here's to no puking. btw I usually don't puke, but it's not pretty the way I feel

today all in all was a great day, unfortunately we did not qualify for SNAP we make $200 too much... how crappy is that, but the good news is that once the baby is born in Jan we will qualify we just need to bring in the birth certificate and than Nixon's paystubs.. so all is well in that, this way we are in the system and everything will be much quicker next time around. once I got home I applied for MA for Niko and got him covered and myself covered under medical also(being pregnant) so my pre-natal, hospital stay labor and delivery will be covered and also the newborn will be. I'm not sure at what % it's covered yet, but it's covered, so thankful for that, and Niko will hopefully now be able to be evaluated medically for Autism Spectrum, and be able to receive some services for  his disability.. so very exciting! Moving forward and I know that the Lord is truly blessing us in our time of need as to what we need!!! My next appt for the baby is June 13th, after that appt I can go to WIC and apply, and since we are on MA we will automatically get covered for WIC, how great is that! Pretty exciting also.. Everything is slowly falling into place for us, and I just know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord is providing a way for this new bundle of joy to come into our lives! I'm getting excited now.

Today was a great day at church it was fast and testimony mtg, and then in sunday school they talked about the restoration of the church, I have lately been feeling such a great fulness to my heavenly father and the power of prayer, it is so completely evident that he knows each and every one of us individually and that he loves us, he knows our trials, our wants our desires, our struggles, and he is ever present during this time. with my pregnancy i have had such a whirl wind of emotions, of being scared, excited, nervous about money etc, etc. ... with all this going on. I know that it is the right time, and through all this craziness I feel  at peace that this child is what Heavenly Father wants for our family.. As crazy as that sounds!!!  and that this is the right time for this child to come into our lives, and that everything is going to be just fine.. yes we will struggle and it won't always be o.k.  but that Heavenly Father is there for us in time of need and all we have to do is ask, and pray and remember that he is always there for us! and with this I feel at peace. I know that I've always been really stressed out about each kids but with this one I feel  the most at peace.. even though we sold all of our baby stuff(except) the clothes and don't really know where we are going to put this little one, because I still sleep with both kids most nights.. but I do know that everything is going to be just fine! and in that I find peace. and I'm thankful. I just get excited for time to tick by, because it's going to go soooooooo slow with this pregnancy I have a feeling, but at the same time it will go really fast.. just like they say the days go by slow but the months fast... so right now it's slow going and Im just excited  for my first appt on June 13th, I also have an ultra sound that day so I"m really excited to see the little peanut! :) so until then that's all I have it was a great Sunday and I felt really uplifted.

well I have to say I'm an emotional roller-coaster officially!!. I found out last week thursday night/early friday again that I'm pregnant. After I sold all of our baby stuff/gave it away and was actually getting use to the fact of only having 2 kids... isn't that funny it seems to be that's when Heavenly Father just decides to throw a wrench in everything. I was getting just too comfortable and needed something to help me grow and push me.. so why don't we just give her another baby??? As excited as I am I'm just as nervous, I'm nervous about the stupid Dr bill that we will get when the baby is born, but I'm almost positive that I will qualify for MA to be able to get help with our bills, and also WIC for help with baby stuff. I'm actually getting a little excited it's 6 weeks next wed (it's friday today). which is when I actually mis-carried last time.. so I"m just really praying that I can get over this little week, I have my first appt/Ultra sound on June 13th. just to check on everything with baby.. so I'm really excited to see that, it always makes it a little more real once that happens! Nixon is finally coming around I think, I don't think it's really sunk in for him yet though.. cause he doesn't really like to talk a whole lot about it, but he did say last night that he just wants to find out if it's girl/boy so he can come up with a name.. I was considering waiting until baby was born, but I guess that just isn't an option with him. I don't know if I would actually be able to wait either.. but the thought of it sure would be a great surprise!!! it's not like we really need to get anything this time around except for a new car-seat which I've already picked out it's pretty awesome and only weighs  8 lbs which is half the weight of our last one, and if it's a boy anything like Niko he will be BIG!! anyway just had to do some catch up. I don't really have any symptoms yet besides being a little bit tired, which is always though with my crazy kids, but that's about it, no nauseous, or anything like that which is nice, we'll see what the next few weeks have to offer me.

haha well it's pretty much my norm to not post for a whole year... well here it is 1 year later, 1 year of ups and downs and trying to conceive, I finally just had to call it quits! It was seriously exhausting, and worrying, and hoping and so much stress.. I just couldn't deal with it any longer, I feel the Lord will bless me with another child if and when the time is right... Well Meeka is now almost done with her first year of Kindergarten, it's been a great year for her, she has truly excelled and started to learn more and more, her teacher is great, and her speech teacher I LOVE!! She truly loves to work with Meeka and loves her... Niko is now also in school he just started and is going 1 day a week, he is having a very hard time.. we will meet with his teachers again this Friday. I have a feeling that this school stuff will be very difficult for him. Right now everything is pretty hard for him, and myself. I get very stressed out and I have to try to remember patience with him.. Well we went to CA this year, we drove over Meeka's Spring break, total spur of the moment trip but well worth every penny . We stayed with my mom to save money and actually it was really good, I was very scared, but it ended up being good with the kids! We of course went to Disney Land, the kids had  a blast, we stayed ALL DAY!! Nixon and I already said that next year we will have to go for 3 days, cause we hardly got to see it. We did a TON of shopping I think Nixon is set for clothes for the next 3 years :) anyway it was a really good trip and Nixon got to see his relatives in LA which he hasn't seen in about 10 years and his mom who he hasn't seen in longer.. I"ve never met her and she got to meet the kids. It was quite awkward, but good to get done! then the trip home.... I now babysit a little girl during the week, which is nice to get paid a little extra cash, to help pay off our debts and have some extra spending money :) Jeremy is staying with us for a little while to help get on track with things in his life, I really hope he can start to make some good decisions and be happy. I feel he is truly not happy in his life, and its hard to watch, but I can only suggest and say so much :) I do love him though and hope the best for him.  Nixon's Birthday is of course coming up, which is about the last time I posted, funny that that time the van needed repairs, we just got done repairing the van again.. about $1000 yuck!!  For Valentines day I got a beautiful upgrade to my ring and band /10 year anniversary for us :) I ABSOLUTELY love it to pieces, I catch myself staring at it quite often, it's always what I've dreamed of!! I also can't believe we've now this year been married for 9 years and together for 11... where does the time go??? anyway I think that that is truly enough for me for now,, who knows maybe another year, I gotta figure out how to post pics on here and i'll put on our disney pics! :)