well if you were to ask me I would swear that I'm pregnant... good or bad, My dreams are crazy vivid like they are when I'm pregnant, it seems like I have to pee 2-3x a night now, I could not get comfortable last night to save my life.. I eventually had to go get the body pillow to get comfortable, I have heart burn from little things... and I woke up this morning around 1am nauseous. so add all that up and you would say hmmmmm, but it's still too early to check. I just don't want to get too excited and have the same thing happen again... today is memorial day and we've just been chill in.. Nixon got an awesome review, and I'm really excited to pay off the car repairs finally that we had to charge.. and then with the raise that he got we should be able to be almost debt free by the end of this year :) we need to stick to our budget though!!!!!  We are truly blessed! I've been doing green smoothies lately and other fruit smoothies they've been soo yummy. I love eating all the fruits and veggies, plus the added bonus of everything is so good for us.. a little more expensive on the grocery list but well worth the good for you aspect!  So if we get pregnant this month. little one would be due around the beginning of feb which is great timing because we would have our taxes and our credit cards paid, and we would be in a great spot financially. So maybe that is what the lord was preparing us for. I'm not sure I'm just thankful that his work finally realized how great of an employee he is and to start paying him as such. Everyone there was making more than him and he was there longer... so it's great. well Niko just got up   and Nixon wants to buy some shoes so off to the mall we go :)

it's been awhile, but here I am again.. yesterday was Nixon's birthday, this tuesday we are going out for dinner and a movie, Reva is watching our kids, it's been since December since we've been out together. hopefully Nixon will be in a good mood!! Yesterday we had  a ton of rain.. lucky we didn't flood! Nixon cleaned out our gutters on thursday, friday so we were in the clear. Sat our van broke down and cost us $700 in repairs... ouch!!! so that's why it was a gloomy birthday weekend for Nixon. we were lucky thought that it was nothing to do with the engine, or inside the motor, so it could have been a lot worse. well that is it for now, we are once again on the baby-making train.. I honestly do think that something is up with my body though.. I had cramping once again around the time that I should be ovulating, and then cramping again, around the time that I would have conceived, if it worked, just like in April when I mis-carried... and then a little bit sore.. so I'm really hoping that everything is healthy and o.k. with me.. I'm beginning to get worried and a little scared. I know that if it is the Lord's will that I will become pregnant I just hope and pray that everything is healthy and o.k. That's it for now, hopefully it won't be  a full month before I post again. :)

well, yesterday I started bleeding, and yes unfortunately I mis-carried. I called the Dr. went in and gave blood work and my test came back negative for a pregnancy. I honestly don't know what is harder, getting pregnant right away and than mis-carrying or taking forever to get pregnant and month after month wanting something so bad and it seems like it will never happen, or having it happen right away only to have it ripped away from you... I guess Heavenly Father just has other plans in store for me, or it's just not the right timing. as they say it's all in Heavenly Father's plan for each and every one of us. I can just pray that everything will work out and that I will still be able to have another child. I try not to think about it and just go on with my daily lives and be thankful for the two healthy children that I do have. count my blessings that I do have, it's hard because I wanted another child so bad and I thought that I was so thankful to be having another child so soon and that it Heavenly Father truly was blessing us with another child, but I know there is something for me to love and be thankful for in this that I need to learn and grow and I will figure it out. but for now I'm just getting by and trying to keep my head high and be there for my family.

well a lot has transformed in the last week, I finally have a couple of minutes to write and put things down. For starters I'm pregnant again!! I can't believe it. Honestly I didn't think it would happen this quick, with Meeka it took us over 8 months Niko over a year, and Bam this little one 2 months.... I guess when you leave things up to the Lord He will bless you when he knows that you are ready and able... I sure hope he knows what he's doing!! Because there are honestly days when I don't know if I can handle what I have now.. let a lone another one... But I know that our family will be blessed and we will be able to raise this child in righteousness and I'm so very blessed to be the mother!
     number 2 we finally went on our 1st ever family vacation. We went to WI dells it was a ton of fun.. except for bedtime of course.. and it didn't help that I forgot both kids monkey's  ugh.. :(  and Niko was a little sick.. so the water slides were great we got a ton of excercise the condo we stayed in was fabulous!! Reva and their family were AWESOME and my brother and Jaydon were great too! All in all it was fun... but I think next year we will pick something different to do for family fun, either that or just go to waterpark of America.. that way we can stay at home for the night :) Once the kids get older I'm sure it will be easier, but for now our own beds will be the best bet!
   Today was the first day of our Mommy and Me art class with Niko I signed us up to go 1x a week from now until the end of summer..... it was not how I imagined.. he was difficult, wanted to leave, and cried and did not go well... oh well. here is to next time. on a brighter note Meeka had a t on of fun at her Art camp today :) I also looked at the Edina summer book and they have swim lessons for a very reasonable price, tomorrow night I'm going to see if our community ed building has some summer swim lessons that are closer Meeka said that she would like to go into swimming and it's something that would be very good for her to learn so I'm happy to put her in it instead of dance this summer :)
   Meeka's dance recital is coming up in about 3 weeks and honestly I can't wait.. I think she's going to be just adorable! I hope that she just doesn't put up a fight going to class every night like she has been lately, but I'm hoping that we've turned the corner now and she's doing good..
    Meeka also got into Eagle Ridge Academy for next year Kindergarten. I'm very excited about that. It's a charter school that is ranked very high in the state with scores and smart kids. I just really pray that Meeka will be able to excel, keep up with the work load and love learning and school. It is a half day program, they do bus, but it will cost us about $250. and then I do have to pick her up everyday at 12pm. So we will be spending a lot of extra money on gas next year... on top of diapers... ugh I hope that NIko will get potty trained quick like Meeka did! :) The good thing is the due date is right around Thanksgiving.. so I will get out of cooking Thanksgiving and Christmas! :) I'm not gonna complain about that! I told Nixon this year I didn't want to cook anything. I've been doing it the past 4 years and honestly I'm tired of it! I don't enjoy it like I use to and it's really hard to do with the kids.. so this year I'm out!! at least I have an excuse! hopefully my dad will pick up the slack and do it, but who knows.. my mom will be here for Thanksgiving though so maybe we'll just cater something.. because we all know that she doesn't cook :) anyway gotta put Niko down for a nap. that is a pretty good summary for now. Hopefully I"ll remember to write things down through out this pregnancy.. good luck I can hardly remember where I put the remote these days ugh pregnancy brain!!

well yesterday Niko had his screening.. As much as I was looking forward to it, I was dreading it. As a parent we always tell ourselves we want the best for our children. We want them to be smart, loving, and successful in whatever they choose to do. and of course happy.. Well when I found out that Meeka was severly behind in her speech of course I beat myself up over it as her mother, racking my brain as to what I could have done differently to help her, why she wasn't talking. why I was the bad parent. So when Niko was born I told myself I'm going to double my efforts, I did, I sang to him, I read to him, I interacted with him, everything that I should be doing. and yet here I am once again with a child that is delayed in speech. I do feel that it is my fault, even though the teachers always say that it's not, but I feel that way.. I feel that there is MORE that I should have been doing.. so Niko will get tested again. the first screening the teacher said that  she would refer him on to the next teacher, because by now he should have at least 10 words down and he has none... as much as I'm glad that he will get the service and the help I feel that o nce again I have failed as a parent. Well this week is going to be a busy one, Meeka has dance on Wed, we have parents night on  Thu, and then something on friday I forget right now but it's on the calendar, so  it's a busy one.

well this is a good start for me actually posting 2x in one month. yay for me!. Well this week was productive, we had Niko's 2 yr appt at the Dr's and of course for his height and weight he's at the top of the chart!! He's a big boy that is for sure. Then we had his party on Sat. My brother didn't make it and of course Nixon's dad didn't make it... There is a surprise... anyway he always has some excuse and Nixon just really doesn't want to talk to him and even invite him... he says he grew up with out him and really he doesn't care if he's here or not.. me of course I get VERY upset by this, and actually got pretty emotional over the whole ordeal... in the end we always just end up not caring about him, but still for me it's hard!  Niko had a good party lots of cake left! it was just my aunt and uncle and then my dad. my grandma didn't make it. She wasn't feeling very well. She is going through Chemo right now. and she has about 4 months left. She is taking March off, but I still understand.  THey are actually leaving tomorrow to go down to MO to see Mary and Steve and go to graceland, which should be really fun  for my grandma. So I'm excited for them. But here all is the same nothing besides that. oh I did call the school system for Niko to get tested for his speech, he's pretty slow just like Meeka and I would much rather start sooner with him than later like we did with Meeka, I want him to be able to communicate and talk with other kids and with us, and by this point 2yrs he should be able to do so. So I hope that he will be able to get help, like Meeka. Tomorrow I'm really excited to go get my haircut and colored!! YAY for me for having some ME time! It is much needed (along with our vacation in 3 weeks) so I'm slowly getting ready for the Dells, finding swim-suits, seeing what still fits. I had to buy Meeka a new suit actually 2 and NIko a rashguard and a new suit too... They just grow and grow! I know they will get plenty of use out of them this summer so I"m pretty excited!! I've had my heart set on getting a water-slide so I told Nixon THIS year we are... I was so close last year but decided not too.. NOT this year!!! so I"m excited the kids will LOVE it!! So that was that, and nothing else is new... still working on No#3 it's our 2nd month, while Nixon is loving the practice... I'm doing better with the emotional part of it, and understanding that everything is in the Lord's hands and timing... and that he is the one that truly understands when it's best for us, but it's still hard I do have my hands full with these two so they do keep me busy. I just signed them both up for a TON of art classes for this summer so that should keep us busy and I'm wondering if I should sign Meeka up for dance this summer too :) I'll look into prices and everything . I want her to take it all year around! It's something she enjoys and loves so it's great to see her have fun. Anyway that's all for now.

well today is Niko's 2nd Birthday. I can't believe my little baby boy is 2 yrs old. he is seriously a creature and hard to handle!! He is wonderful and crazy and into everything, very curious and so much a boy it's crazy! He loves cars, trains, and Timmy time is his favorite cartoon. He loves to copy his sister, especially if she is doing something she's not suppose to, he's a dare devil , risk taker and always giving me a heart attack! He's your typical BOY!!  but I love him with all of my heart! So that was today, nothing too crazy out of the ordinary just my little ones birthday!

http://video214.com/play/hLIufZxt0qEaj1We8pUgJg/s/dark

http://video214.com/play/hLIufZxt0qEaj1We8pUgJg/s/dark

Here is the video from when Niko was born. I'm so glad we got this, I wish we would have had something like this for Meeka! But here's my little one.

wow it's been 1 year since I"ve been here, no sense in really going back and even trying to sum up an entire year!...
  So now I will start with today. we are getting ready for Niko's 2nd Birthday which is going to be next Sat. Pretty excited about it! The kids have grown so much. Meeka got into Eagle Ridge Academy which is an excellent school and I"m very excited about that! I've been praying that she will get into a good school for next year. the school districts in Richfield are not good at all. She will have uniforms for next year so it should be interesting!   They both continue to amaze me. Niko has his 2yr dr appt on Tue, I'm a little concerned with his speech, just like Meeka, not talking a whole lot, but man is he a creature!! We now have an apple computer so I will have to figure out how to do pics from this computer now, man oh man another thing to learn. I work for Abrakadoodle as a parent volunteer, it's a great thing, all the hours I work go towards art classes for Meeka and Niko, which I would pay for anyway because I truly believe that Art is something that a child really needs to be able to develop and learn and grow. I know that I've always loved art, it truly sets me free and makes me feel inspired! I just wish I had more time to do it.. I do little projects with them here and there, but nothing for myself!.  Well hopefully now I will be more consistent in this blog I'm so bad at it, I've got the time I just forget. :) So there we are.. Nixon and I are trying for #3 and it's always a roller-coaster of emotions for me, when we do this.. but in the end I need to understand that it's Heavenly Father's timing and not mine and rest assured that he knows what he is doing.... patience.... which is always hard for me. But besides that everything is the same ol same ol :)