well I have to say I'm an emotional roller-coaster officially!!. I found out last week thursday night/early friday again that I'm pregnant. After I sold all of our baby stuff/gave it away and was actually getting use to the fact of only having 2 kids... isn't that funny it seems to be that's when Heavenly Father just decides to throw a wrench in everything. I was getting just too comfortable and needed something to help me grow and push me.. so why don't we just give her another baby??? As excited as I am I'm just as nervous, I'm nervous about the stupid Dr bill that we will get when the baby is born, but I'm almost positive that I will qualify for MA to be able to get help with our bills, and also WIC for help with baby stuff. I'm actually getting a little excited it's 6 weeks next wed (it's friday today). which is when I actually mis-carried last time.. so I"m just really praying that I can get over this little week, I have my first appt/Ultra sound on June 13th. just to check on everything with baby.. so I'm really excited to see that, it always makes it a little more real once that happens! Nixon is finally coming around I think, I don't think it's really sunk in for him yet though.. cause he doesn't really like to talk a whole lot about it, but he did say last night that he just wants to find out if it's girl/boy so he can come up with a name.. I was considering waiting until baby was born, but I guess that just isn't an option with him. I don't know if I would actually be able to wait either.. but the thought of it sure would be a great surprise!!! it's not like we really need to get anything this time around except for a new car-seat which I've already picked out it's pretty awesome and only weighs  8 lbs which is half the weight of our last one, and if it's a boy anything like Niko he will be BIG!! anyway just had to do some catch up. I don't really have any symptoms yet besides being a little bit tired, which is always though with my crazy kids, but that's about it, no nauseous, or anything like that which is nice, we'll see what the next few weeks have to offer me.

haha well it's pretty much my norm to not post for a whole year... well here it is 1 year later, 1 year of ups and downs and trying to conceive, I finally just had to call it quits! It was seriously exhausting, and worrying, and hoping and so much stress.. I just couldn't deal with it any longer, I feel the Lord will bless me with another child if and when the time is right... Well Meeka is now almost done with her first year of Kindergarten, it's been a great year for her, she has truly excelled and started to learn more and more, her teacher is great, and her speech teacher I LOVE!! She truly loves to work with Meeka and loves her... Niko is now also in school he just started and is going 1 day a week, he is having a very hard time.. we will meet with his teachers again this Friday. I have a feeling that this school stuff will be very difficult for him. Right now everything is pretty hard for him, and myself. I get very stressed out and I have to try to remember patience with him.. Well we went to CA this year, we drove over Meeka's Spring break, total spur of the moment trip but well worth every penny . We stayed with my mom to save money and actually it was really good, I was very scared, but it ended up being good with the kids! We of course went to Disney Land, the kids had  a blast, we stayed ALL DAY!! Nixon and I already said that next year we will have to go for 3 days, cause we hardly got to see it. We did a TON of shopping I think Nixon is set for clothes for the next 3 years :) anyway it was a really good trip and Nixon got to see his relatives in LA which he hasn't seen in about 10 years and his mom who he hasn't seen in longer.. I"ve never met her and she got to meet the kids. It was quite awkward, but good to get done! then the trip home.... I now babysit a little girl during the week, which is nice to get paid a little extra cash, to help pay off our debts and have some extra spending money :) Jeremy is staying with us for a little while to help get on track with things in his life, I really hope he can start to make some good decisions and be happy. I feel he is truly not happy in his life, and its hard to watch, but I can only suggest and say so much :) I do love him though and hope the best for him.  Nixon's Birthday is of course coming up, which is about the last time I posted, funny that that time the van needed repairs, we just got done repairing the van again.. about $1000 yuck!!  For Valentines day I got a beautiful upgrade to my ring and band /10 year anniversary for us :) I ABSOLUTELY love it to pieces, I catch myself staring at it quite often, it's always what I've dreamed of!! I also can't believe we've now this year been married for 9 years and together for 11... where does the time go??? anyway I think that that is truly enough for me for now,, who knows maybe another year, I gotta figure out how to post pics on here and i'll put on our disney pics! :)