Sunday, July 11, 2010
Sunday good day
Today is our 2nd Sunday as a family going to church... With this as I'm sitting in bed resting I'm thinking of the turn of events in my life so far that has lead to me coming back to church. I've never ever lost my testimony of the church, this is something that I've always had and I know that I always will. I've just lost myself a long the way, lost sight of what is truly important in this life and in this world. I've settled for the here and now and what made me happy instead of what will make me eternally happy. I want to take account of this so I don't forget. My turn of events started I would say in December. I started to become more unhappy at work, more stressed, and really re-thinking if this is what I want to do.. But then I would think to myself I HAVE to, we have bills to pay, credit cards, a daughter to provide for. etc,etc... I started to pray that I would find a job that I could make money from home and be with Meeka, this was my goal. I had always wanted to stay at home and raise her and instill high morals and values into her. I believe that that is so very important in this day and age for children. So I knew that this was where I was suppose to be I just didn't know how I was going to be able to do it. I seriously started looking on line for jobs where I could be at home with her. Then to my dismay or to an answer to my prayers I was let go from my job in January. They paid me for 2 weeks and I collected unemployment from then on. Nixon was so very fortunate to be able to go back and work days for full time and we've been blessed to be able to get medical and dental insurance through his employer (may I add even better than what we had through mine). Since I've been at home I"ve been able to look at all of our bills, I've been able to budget and cut where we don't need. we no longer have cable, we no longer have a land line phone, we only have 1 phone line, our cable bill got cut in half for internet. our garbage bill got cut in half, we are on programs to manage our utility bills, we've changed banks to save on our checking accounts. All of this because I got let go from my job.. Heavenly Father answered my prayers. Every day I look at Meeka and know that I made the right decision. Every once in a while I hear satan try and whisper to me you could go back to work and be making $50,000 you wouldn't have this stress of money in your life, you wouldn't have to cut this or that out , you could have this and that.... I have to tell myself, NO WHAT I WANT IS RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME!! MY FAMILY... Through all of this I've learned that this is where I belong, this is where I'm needed, in the home, teaching Meeka raising her to learn about her heavenly father. being an example to her and to Nixon. This has truly been a testimony builder for me of prayer and that Heavenly father truly does know us and knows what is best for us. That he is ultimately in control, that he loves us dearly and when we pray and ask for things that are truly of his will and are what is best for us that he answers those prayers!! My husband and I had been trying for over 8 months to have anther child, when I lost my job I didn't know what to do and was so thankful that I wasn't pregnant heavenly father yes I wanted to have anther child but it was not the right time for us in our lives to have one, I needed to get through this in my life, gain a testimony of prayer and come back again to heavenly father.. I have to say I'm more scared this second time around to have a child. I don't know what is going to come of us in our house, in Nixon's job. I know for a fact now that I can not go back to work and afford to put the children in daycare, nor do I ever want to do that... I know that the Lord will bless us as long as we obey his commandments and repent and follow his will... I know that now is the right time for me to have another child and to bring this blessed life into our family.. I know that if we lean upon the lord that he will uplift us and help us through it. We just need to ensure that we are doing our part!! I wanted to make note of all of this because I feel that it's important for me and for those around me to understand where I am in my life. I love the lord with all my heart and soul, I love my family also. I want the best for them!!
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